Secrets of Great Conversation

Making successful small talk with someone you've just met isn't rocket science, but it does demand more effort than tossing out a tired opening line. The added pressure of a social situation — a date, a party, an encounter at a singles club — may tie your tongue into knots. The best thing is to ignore what's going on around you and concentrate on the person at hand. If you show that you are interested, you'll be surprised how quickly people open up.

To get the ball rolling, here are five practical principles for starting a conversation when you don't know what to say.

Flattery will get you everywhere

Make with the compliments to begin on a positive note. People are inclined to think well of you if you indicate you think well of them. The trick is picking out what to compliment without including some kind of sexual connotation.

Props

Women work hard choosing their accessories, and anyone who notices wins points. "Those shoes are sensational. Are they comfortable?"

Check out a guy's tie, glasses and watch. Look at his feet. I have a mild-mannered cousin who indulges himself by choosing socks with wild patterns. Always carry a book or newspaper. Then, if your new acquaintance doesn't have anything obvious to remark on, you have, "Have you read this?"

Redirection

People love to share their enthusiasm for their hobbies. If you meet someone jogging, see if you can spark some shoptalk. And vice versa. If you're at work, ask them what they like to do to relax. Try to discover what is not obvious—the mind in the sexy blonde, the animal in the geek.

Ask more than yes/no questions

A question demands a response, which is the essence of conversational give-and-take. But a yes/no query can bog you down in monosyllables. Think like a reporter: Ask who, what, when, where and why. Instead of, "Did you see the latest Bruce Willis movie?" try, "What did you think of it?"

Listen, really listen, to the other person.

Shy people who have trouble making conversation are so anxious about what they are going to say next that they don't listen to what the other person says. Every answer to your intriguing questions opens up new conversational avenues to explore. Follow up on those leads. As an added bonus, the more you concentrate on the other person, the less your palms will sweat, the fewer words for you to stumble over. And your new acquaintance is bound to be charmed by your astute appreciation of his or her own sterling qualities.

By Marcy Barack

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Relationship Advice for Men - Why It's Okay To Take Things Slow Sometimes

One thing in relationship that most men seem to have in common is the need to try and rush things when they feel like they have fallen in love with a woman. You might think it would be noble to rush into things without thinking about it when it truly is love, but that is not always the best decision that you can make. In fact, quite often it can lead to many more problems than to solutions.


The urge to rush when you feel as though you have found the "one" is nothing new. Even back in the earliest times of written history, there have been tales of guys falling for a woman and deciding not to waste one moment as they knew it was the right woman for them. While it may always work out in fairy tales and other historically romantic literature, in the every day relations... it can sometimes backfire on you.
Here are some reasons why you may want to take it slow sometimes:
1) Rushing into a relationship with a woman can cause you to see her only through rose colored glasses.
Many men who end up with a woman who turns out to be nothing but trouble for them made the mistake of taking things too fast and not slowing down when they should have. Because of this, it can be easy to see a woman through rose colored glasses, as in... you see only the good that you want to see and ignore the rest. If she truly is the right woman, then she would still be the one if you were to wait things out. And in doing so, you can get a chance to see what she is really all about and possibly avoid ending up with a woman who is nothing but trouble.
2) You also don't want to make her feel that you possibly are in desperation mode.
A guy can give off a desperation vibe in a relationship if he is not careful and he is trying to move things too swiftly with a woman. As you should already know, desperation is not a virtue in the eyes of most women. By taking things a little bit slower, you can make sure that you are not giving off that desperation vibe that so many other men end up giving off.
3) Variety in your relationships can allow you to get a real taste of what you really want in a woman.
This is another key reason why taking a relationship slow can be a good thing. Rushing into a relationship also usually means making a commitment very quickly, and that can be bad if you don't have a lot of experience in dating. You need to gain some experience in order to really get a taste of what attributes you are really fond of in a woman and the slower you go, the less likely you will end up settling down too soon without getting that taste of variety that you need to have.
These are all very good reasons why it can be a good thing to take things slow with women when it comes to relationships. Keep in mind that although your feelings for a woman is one today... you may not feel that way tomorrow.

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