Top 10 Ways to Improve Relationships

Have you ever wondered how would it be possible to improve relationships with kindness? Or what can you do on your part to improve relationships? For me, life is all about the relationships that we make and the close bonds we build, where kindness plays a major role.

Some of you must be dreaming, wondering, or thinking about what and how you can do to improve relationships and have a loving, secure, intimate, or open relationship with your families, friends, and lovers.

Remember, relationships thrive on kindness and love, and human beings are born in relationships, so essentially the lives we lead right from infancy to old age are fastened in the bond of relationships.

People often have a hard time in their relationships as they play the “I’m right and you are wrong” game, and start blaming each other instead of taking responsibility and practicing the act of kindness.

“Speaking with kindness creates confidence, thinking with kindness creates profoundness, giving with kindness creates love.” —Lao Tzu

Kindness to others and to yourself comes from a desire to support your own utmost good and the utmost good of others. You are genuinely kind when your uppermost priority is to support the highest good of everyone. You don’t even have to think about it, as it flows easily when your sincere desire is to be a caring, loving, and kind person.

However, when your deepest desire is to protect yourself from getting hurt, then your natural choice in conflict is most likely to attempt to control with blame, withdrawal, anger, compliance, resistance, or judgment.

When you extend kindness to others, you are really extending it towards yourself, as it leaves you a gentler, better, and more joyful person.

Whenever you want to improve relationships with kindness with your friends, family, spouse or any other person, you need to have noble, charitable thoughts, and should express more love. Mentioned below are 10 ways to improve relationships with kindness-

1. Love is the key
If you want to improve relationships with kindness, remember that love is the key part to making a relationship work, and kindness is a product of love. You cannot have a successful relationship, friendship, marriage, etc. without some degree of love. You need to try and become best friends with your spouse or simply a friend.

2. Be kind and sensitive
You are most likeable when you are kind, as people think of you as someone who is good to and for them. If you turn out to be the person people like, it becomes much easier for them to spend time with and around you. Also, learn to say something kind, some words of love (try out “I love you”!) and positivity on a daily basis. Remember, the more you give, the more you get.

Kindness also makes you more sensitive, as those who are kind don’t hurt the people they have relationships with, thus they are careful about how they treat them and are never harsh, or insensitive.

3. Start afresh
If you want to avoid petty, small, or even big arguments and problems in your relationships, you need to put such arguments or problems in the past or behind you. By doing so you are saying to yourself that the argument is over and it’s time to look for solution, look ahead, and start afresh.

I have practiced this often by focusing on the end results and how the problem is going to affect my relationship in a few days, months, and in the long run. This small shift in my thought process has helped me immensely to put the argument behind me, and focus on the solutions and make a huge positive impact in my relationship.

4. Show compassion and acceptance
To improve relationships, treat others the way you wish to be treated. We all yearn to be treated lovingly with respect, kindness, understanding, compassion, and acceptance. Though there are no guarantees, but often treating another with kindness brings kindness in return. Kindness to others doesn’t mean self-sacrificing, but taking the task for yourself as opposed to blaming others is the most important thing you can do.

If you are always kind to your partner and to yourself, but your partner is always blaming, angry, unavailable, and withdrawn, then you need to accept it as a far off relationship, or you may need to leave the relationship. Remember, you cannot change your partner, you can only change yourself.

5. Learn rather than control
While trying to improve relationships, you will have conflicts. However, there are only two ways to handle the conflict- one is to remain open to learning more about yourself and your partner, and discover the root issues of the conflict or trying to win the battle so that you don’t lose, via some type of controlling routine.

Such controlling routines are ways to conquer others into behaving the ways we wish, but all the different ways that we try to control will develop more conflict. Remember to learn to become better yourself, rather than control others if you want to improve relationships with kindness.

6. Create time for fun and play
People make time for each other when they fall in love or meet for the first time. Similarly, to improve relationships, you need time to be together, to converse, to play, to develop trust in friendship, make love, share things, take walks, sit and talk for a few minutes daily, share a hobby, watch a program together, laugh and play, or just about do anything together.

You need to understand about the feelings, emotions, and care about the other person. And remember, intimacy flourishes when here is lightness of being, not when everything is heavy!

7. Practice gratitude
When there is an attitude of gratitude between two people, positive energy flows, whereas permanent complaints or nagging develops a heavy, negative energy all around. In order to improve relationships with kindness, learn what moves you and your partner, and practice to be grateful for what you have, rather than focus on what you don’t have.

Complaints always develop stress, while gratitude brings about inner peace, so it builds up not only emotional and relationship health, but physical health as well.

8. Appreciate and acknowledge
Small deeds of kindness matter, so learn to appreciate and acknowledge the kindness from your partner. A small note, a loving comment, or a phone call during the day may be all your partner needs. When we express and notice gratitude for the kindness shown to us, it strengthens the relationship.

9. Help each other
To improve relationships with kindness, learn to help each other out. For example, when one partner or friend finds decision making a tough task and seeks your help, the partner who is more decisive may be tempted to be angry or impatient. But, if we are wise we will patiently help our partner to make a decision. To help in the household chores, look after the kids, or take on your partners responsibility for the day are other ways to help each other.

10. Improve yourself
In order to improve relationships with kindness you need to take responsibility for yourself and improve yourself. This means that rather than trying to change your partner, you learn to introspect and examine your own feelings and emotions. Develop the required inner strength and power that builds you from within.

Once you learn to take the responsibility on yourself, you stop blaming your partner for things that upset you. This in turn helps you improve relationships with kindness and creates a beautiful relationship.

Kindness allows you to love, forget, forgive, and be loved in return. When you are kind yourself, you put the relationships first. So, with the above mentioned 10 ways to improve relationships with kindness, and with World Kindness Day coming around the corner, what deeds of kindness are you going to practice for yourself and your dear ones?

“You cannot do a kindness too soon because you never know how soon it will be too late.”  ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Over to you- How do you try and improve your relationships? When you enter into an argument do you practice kindness or try to improve relationship with kindness or try to prove you are right?

Top 10 Things Women Want You To Do In Bed

From talking with female friends informally, I know there are a few things which almost EVERY woman wishes men did more of in bed. Here are the top 10:

    This is far and away the biggest thing women wish men did more of in bed. Most men don’t do this – instead, they clumsily plow straight to intercourse as fast as possible. 
    Woman in bed
    This means that “foreplay” usually consists of a few minutes of obligatory kissing, followed by a few minutes of obligatory breast stimulation, followed by a few minutes of obligatory cunnilingus until the ultimate goal of intercourse is reached. This isn’t what women want! If you can give her an orgasm before you penetrate her, then it’s GUARANTEED to be good sex in her book, even if you don’t last as long as you’d like. And on top of this, giving her an orgasm will make her more responsive and MUCH more likely to have another orgasm during intercourse. Sex becomes better for you, and for her.
    Most men only pay attention to the “obvious” spots on a woman’s body when trying to give her sexual pleasure, like the breasts, clitoris and g-spot. But women don’t want you to ONLY pay attention to these spots … they want you to pay attention to their WHOLE BODY. 
    This is because there are 16 other “hidden” erogenous zones on her body which can give her pleasure, and which can actually make her MORE sensitive to vaginal stimulation. Most men don’t know about these … but if you’re one of the rare men who does, then she’ll be screaming your name in pleasure.
    We’ve been told that “women don’t mind if you don’t last that long in bed, as long as you’re good with your fingers” and that it’s OK for a man to only last a few minutes in bed. This is a big steaming heap of BS. 
    Women HATE it when a man shoots off too soon because it prevents them from having orgasms. How would you feel if a woman got YOU close to an orgasm, then all of a sudden stopped, rolled over, and went to sleep? 
    You need to know how to last 30 minutes in bed AT THE MINIMUM. If you really want to drive women wild, then you should learn how to last over an hour in bed. And of course you can have a “quickie” once in a while, but most of the time women will need a minimum of 30 minutes of intercourse to have multiple orgasms.
    From many conversations and interviews with women I know the typical man in bed does almost no teasing. He just plows forwards directly to his goal of intercourse with no finesse, just doing the minimum necessary to get to penetration. 
    What women want is for you do build up to a sexual action with teasing until she’s practically begging you for it. THEN give her the gratification. For example, with oral sex most men just dive right in. What would turn her on much more is if you kiss up her inner thighs, and breathe warmly on her vagina. Then, so lightly she can barely feel it, run your tongue over her clitoris. 
    Do this until she’s pleading with you to give her more and THEN give her the gratification. She’ll enjoy it about a hundred times more. This leads into the next things women want more of in bed, which is…
    I’m constantly amazed by how many men have told me that they don’t give women oral sex that often, or that they don’t do it at all. The justification which I’ve heard so many times is “it’s OK, I’m good with my fingers.” 
    This is like a girl telling you “I don’t give blowjobs … but it’s OK, I’m good with my hands.” It’s just not the same. If you know how to do it right, giving her oral sex is the fastest and easiest way to give her orgasms. Plus, once you make her finish through oral sex she’ll be MUCH more responsive during intercourse … and much more likely to go down on you. Give your girlfriend plenty of oral sex, and she will love you for it.