What women expect from men during menses

Given a chance, every man would want to disappear into oblivion during 'those' days of the month when their woman is menstruating. Reason: PMS-pre menstrual syndrome, which is dreaded as a nightmare by most men as the poor beings are subjected to irrational fits of anger, incessant screaming and shouting, crying without reason and bouts of depression.

So, rather than running away from the problem, which obviously you can't (and dare not), why not handle it in a smarter way that will ease your lives? We'll tell you how.

- Firstly, understand that it's not the person, but the hormones which play the brat. Your woman is bound to feel cranky and irritable. So be co-operative and try to understand her problem. Be smart enough to read the signs that will lead to anger or add up to her frustration and nip the reasons in the bud. Even though you find her behaviour funny at times, never ever make the mistake of joking around or teasing her about it. Lest you want to be crucified! And remember, as a guy you can never experience her agony.

- Doing things that she does not like you doing, can otherwise be tolerated. But this is certainly not the right time. So behave like a good boy. Keep up to your promises, don't be late when you meet her and things should be fine.

- You can also lessen her burden of work by helping her in the kitchen, paying her bills or running errands for the things that are required.

Gynaecologist Shyama Kothari says, "Periods often make women feel heavy and uncomfortable. So it's better if her man treats her special during those few days. Even if she's not looking her usual best, tell her how lovely she looks. Women feel insecure, lonely or depressed during that time. So making extra efforts to assure her of your love, and her worth will not cause any harm. Also, buying her a surprise gifts is a good idea." An important point that Dr Kothari makes is to avoid socialising. She adds, "The heaviness due to water retention causes a temporary weight gain. So usually party wear or tight fitted clothes feel tighter and uncomfortable. Also staying up late at night can aggravate the situation."

Women also tend to crave for sugary foods like chocolates during this time. Rather than commenting on the calorie aspect, it is advisable for men to join them in their sinful indulgence sessions to make it fun. Giving a relaxing head, foot or back massage to soothe her tensed nerves can work well too.

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Love not enough for marriage!

Love has no major role to play in keeping couples together. In fact, the chances of a couple staying together are affected by age, previous relationships – and smoking. That’s the conclusion of a new study, which was conducted by researchers at the Australian National University.

To reach the conclusion, boffins spent six years monitoring 2,500 couples who were married or living together, reports The Daily Express.

The study found that money played a major factor in deciding whether a couple stand the test of time. The study, entitled What's Love Got to Do With It, showed that a quarter of partnerships and marriages will end within six years and half will be over within 25 years.

It also found that a husband who is nine or more years older than his wife is twice as likely to get divorced, as are husbands who get married before they turn 25.

Couples were twice as likely to split if the wife had a much stronger preference for children or for more of them. Smoking and drinking rates also contributed to relationship breakdown, the study found

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First Dates: Dos and Don’ts To Create Chemistry

Tonight is the night: You’ve dressed in your finest, popped a breath mint, and are headed off to meet someone who could be The One. Few moments are as pivotal as this initial rendezvous, and that holds true whether you met online, were set up through friends, or swapped numbers at a bar last Saturday. So: How do you get that all-necessary chemistry crackling between you as quickly as possible? Believe it or not, it’s not all up to fate. Anthropologists, body language experts, and other pros say there are plenty of strategies you can use to help your date relax, to build rapport, and even to instill a flutter of excitement. Try these tactics for a few instant sparks.

1. Plan an activity that’ll get your heart racing—literally
   There’s a reason scary movies make for great dates other than the excuse to squeeze someone’s hand: Frightening experiences get your pulse racing, adrenaline flowing, your face flushed—and these physiological responses bear a striking resemblance to sexual arousal. "The mind mistakes any sort of arousal for sexual attraction, and will attribute this excitement to whomever you're with," says David Givens, Ph.D., an anthropologist at the Center for Nonverbal Studies. “In fact, in one study where men met women on a bridge high above rushing water, subjects were more attracted to each other than those who met elsewhere.” Not that we’re recommending you meet there exactly—roller-coaster rides or a hike up a steep woodland trail should do the trick. Even the sweat you work up while eating spicy food can get you hot under the collar for each other, so consider suggesting Mexican or Thai for dinner.
   
   
2. Mirror, mirror…your date
   
   Want to convince the person sitting across from you that you two are totally on the same wavelength? Easy—just make a point of subtly mimicking their body position and the pacing of their movements, recommends Jay Arthur, author of Attracting Romance. "Sit the way your date is sitting, tilt your head the way he or she does, talk at the same speeds,” he suggests. On a subconscious level, people find similarity comforting, which paves the way for a stronger connection.
   
3. Dwell on pleasurable experiences
   
   Sure, engaging your date in a lively debate about the pros and cons of the Patriot Act may be intellectually stimulating, but an intimate conversation isn’t about impressing someone with your smarts: It’s about getting your date to tap into his or her sensual side. So, steer clear of topics that involve facts and figures and get your honey mulling over more pleasurable thoughts instead. Questions like “Do you have any summertime vacations planned?” or “What would you say is the best meal you’ve ever had in this neighborhood?” will easily get you both in a better frame of mind to bond. "Talking about awe-inspiring experiences and the attached emotions — seeing the Grand Canyon, for instance — lets you relive them," explains Givens. “People get hyped up talking about something that excites them, and that emotion gets transferred to the person they’re with.”
   
4. Master your eye movements
   
   Staring into someone’s eyes: It’s the oldest rule in the book. It indicates that you're confident, honest, and interested in this person—all of which can make a date’s heart skip a beat. And yet, it can be hard for daters to do this move with finesse. Don’t worry, no one’s asking you to engage in a staring contest. In the world of eye contact, less is more. "Don't immediately look away when feeling awkward,” says Laurie Puhn, J.D., author of Instant Persuasion: How to Change Your Words to Change Your Life. “Hold your date's gaze for one extra second—that's all you need to do.” If you’re having trouble, try shifting your attention to their eyebrows instead; it’s close enough that your date will still feel like you’re focused on him or her. Next, try this advanced technique: Let your gaze occasionally “dance” from one of your date’s eyes to the other, back and forth, which conveys excitement and creates a flirtatious mood.
   
5. Don't feel compelled to get touchy-feely
   
   Eventually, if all goes well, physical contact—hand-holding, hugging, kissing, and much racier stuff—will naturally happen and will cement a bond between you. But at this early stage, all too often it can backfire. If your date isn’t ready for contact yet—either stiffening when you move in or turning the dreaded cheek when you go for a kiss—it can be hard to recover your composure and the date’s good vibes. The key is to let your date know you’re “in like” but not push too hard on the physical front. Your best bet for your first encounter is something sweet but not gropey. If a handshake’s your style, put a cozy twist on it by clasping your date’s palm in one hand and putting your other hand on top, warmly encircling their wrist. Or, try a seamless handshake-to-hug combo by grasping your date’s hand, pulling him or her slightly toward you and encircling your other arm around your date’s torso. To further cut the tension, say something like, “I had such a great time and am so glad we did this.” And unless you’re getting clear signs your date’s dying to be kissed—as in, he or she remains in your personal space with a smile and lots of direct eye contact—resist the urge to plant one on the lips or even the cheek. Don’t worry, there will be plenty of time for that later. And hey, you’re always better off leaving your date with something to look forward to.
   By Matt Schneiderman

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Top 10 Ways to Improve Relationships

Have you ever wondered how would it be possible to improve relationships with kindness? Or what can you do on your part to improve relationships? For me, life is all about the relationships that we make and the close bonds we build, where kindness plays a major role.

Some of you must be dreaming, wondering, or thinking about what and how you can do to improve relationships and have a loving, secure, intimate, or open relationship with your families, friends, and lovers.

Remember, relationships thrive on kindness and love, and human beings are born in relationships, so essentially the lives we lead right from infancy to old age are fastened in the bond of relationships.

People often have a hard time in their relationships as they play the “I’m right and you are wrong” game, and start blaming each other instead of taking responsibility and practicing the act of kindness.

“Speaking with kindness creates confidence, thinking with kindness creates profoundness, giving with kindness creates love.” —Lao Tzu

Kindness to others and to yourself comes from a desire to support your own utmost good and the utmost good of others. You are genuinely kind when your uppermost priority is to support the highest good of everyone. You don’t even have to think about it, as it flows easily when your sincere desire is to be a caring, loving, and kind person.

However, when your deepest desire is to protect yourself from getting hurt, then your natural choice in conflict is most likely to attempt to control with blame, withdrawal, anger, compliance, resistance, or judgment.

When you extend kindness to others, you are really extending it towards yourself, as it leaves you a gentler, better, and more joyful person.

Whenever you want to improve relationships with kindness with your friends, family, spouse or any other person, you need to have noble, charitable thoughts, and should express more love. Mentioned below are 10 ways to improve relationships with kindness-

1. Love is the key
If you want to improve relationships with kindness, remember that love is the key part to making a relationship work, and kindness is a product of love. You cannot have a successful relationship, friendship, marriage, etc. without some degree of love. You need to try and become best friends with your spouse or simply a friend.

2. Be kind and sensitive
You are most likeable when you are kind, as people think of you as someone who is good to and for them. If you turn out to be the person people like, it becomes much easier for them to spend time with and around you. Also, learn to say something kind, some words of love (try out “I love you”!) and positivity on a daily basis. Remember, the more you give, the more you get.

Kindness also makes you more sensitive, as those who are kind don’t hurt the people they have relationships with, thus they are careful about how they treat them and are never harsh, or insensitive.

3. Start afresh
If you want to avoid petty, small, or even big arguments and problems in your relationships, you need to put such arguments or problems in the past or behind you. By doing so you are saying to yourself that the argument is over and it’s time to look for solution, look ahead, and start afresh.

I have practiced this often by focusing on the end results and how the problem is going to affect my relationship in a few days, months, and in the long run. This small shift in my thought process has helped me immensely to put the argument behind me, and focus on the solutions and make a huge positive impact in my relationship.

4. Show compassion and acceptance
To improve relationships, treat others the way you wish to be treated. We all yearn to be treated lovingly with respect, kindness, understanding, compassion, and acceptance. Though there are no guarantees, but often treating another with kindness brings kindness in return. Kindness to others doesn’t mean self-sacrificing, but taking the task for yourself as opposed to blaming others is the most important thing you can do.

If you are always kind to your partner and to yourself, but your partner is always blaming, angry, unavailable, and withdrawn, then you need to accept it as a far off relationship, or you may need to leave the relationship. Remember, you cannot change your partner, you can only change yourself.

5. Learn rather than control
While trying to improve relationships, you will have conflicts. However, there are only two ways to handle the conflict- one is to remain open to learning more about yourself and your partner, and discover the root issues of the conflict or trying to win the battle so that you don’t lose, via some type of controlling routine.

Such controlling routines are ways to conquer others into behaving the ways we wish, but all the different ways that we try to control will develop more conflict. Remember to learn to become better yourself, rather than control others if you want to improve relationships with kindness.

6. Create time for fun and play
People make time for each other when they fall in love or meet for the first time. Similarly, to improve relationships, you need time to be together, to converse, to play, to develop trust in friendship, make love, share things, take walks, sit and talk for a few minutes daily, share a hobby, watch a program together, laugh and play, or just about do anything together.

You need to understand about the feelings, emotions, and care about the other person. And remember, intimacy flourishes when here is lightness of being, not when everything is heavy!

7. Practice gratitude
When there is an attitude of gratitude between two people, positive energy flows, whereas permanent complaints or nagging develops a heavy, negative energy all around. In order to improve relationships with kindness, learn what moves you and your partner, and practice to be grateful for what you have, rather than focus on what you don’t have.

Complaints always develop stress, while gratitude brings about inner peace, so it builds up not only emotional and relationship health, but physical health as well.

8. Appreciate and acknowledge
Small deeds of kindness matter, so learn to appreciate and acknowledge the kindness from your partner. A small note, a loving comment, or a phone call during the day may be all your partner needs. When we express and notice gratitude for the kindness shown to us, it strengthens the relationship.

9. Help each other
To improve relationships with kindness, learn to help each other out. For example, when one partner or friend finds decision making a tough task and seeks your help, the partner who is more decisive may be tempted to be angry or impatient. But, if we are wise we will patiently help our partner to make a decision. To help in the household chores, look after the kids, or take on your partners responsibility for the day are other ways to help each other.

10. Improve yourself
In order to improve relationships with kindness you need to take responsibility for yourself and improve yourself. This means that rather than trying to change your partner, you learn to introspect and examine your own feelings and emotions. Develop the required inner strength and power that builds you from within.

Once you learn to take the responsibility on yourself, you stop blaming your partner for things that upset you. This in turn helps you improve relationships with kindness and creates a beautiful relationship.

Kindness allows you to love, forget, forgive, and be loved in return. When you are kind yourself, you put the relationships first. So, with the above mentioned 10 ways to improve relationships with kindness, and with World Kindness Day coming around the corner, what deeds of kindness are you going to practice for yourself and your dear ones?

“You cannot do a kindness too soon because you never know how soon it will be too late.”  ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Over to you- How do you try and improve your relationships? When you enter into an argument do you practice kindness or try to improve relationship with kindness or try to prove you are right?

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Top 10 Things Women Want You To Do In Bed

From talking with female friends informally, I know there are a few things which almost EVERY woman wishes men did more of in bed. Here are the top 10:

1. GIVING HER AN ORGASM BEFORE INTERCOURSE STARTS

This is far and away the biggest thing women wish men did more of in bed. Most men don’t do this – instead, they clumsily plow straight to intercourse as fast as possible. 

Woman in bed
This means that “foreplay” usually consists of a few minutes of obligatory kissing, followed by a few minutes of obligatory breast stimulation, followed by a few minutes of obligatory cunnilingus until the ultimate goal of intercourse is reached. This isn’t what women want! If you can give her an orgasm before you penetrate her, then it’s GUARANTEED to be good sex in her book, even if you don’t last as long as you’d like. And on top of this, giving her an orgasm will make her more responsive and MUCH more likely to have another orgasm during intercourse. Sex becomes better for you, and for her.

2. PAYING ATTENTION TO NON-OBVIOUS EROGENOUS ZONES

Most men only pay attention to the “obvious” spots on a woman’s body when trying to give her sexual pleasure, like the breasts, clitoris and g-spot. But women don’t want you to ONLY pay attention to these spots … they want you to pay attention to their WHOLE BODY. 

This is because there are 16 other “hidden” erogenous zones on her body which can give her pleasure, and which can actually make her MORE sensitive to vaginal stimulation. Most men don’t know about these … but if you’re one of the rare men who does, then she’ll be screaming your name in pleasure.

3. LASTING LONGER IN BED

We’ve been told that “women don’t mind if you don’t last that long in bed, as long as you’re good with your fingers” and that it’s OK for a man to only last a few minutes in bed. This is a big steaming heap of BS. 

Women HATE it when a man shoots off too soon because it prevents them from having orgasms. How would you feel if a woman got YOU close to an orgasm, then all of a sudden stopped, rolled over, and went to sleep? 

You need to know how to last 30 minutes in bed AT THE MINIMUM. If you really want to drive women wild, then you should learn how to last over an hour in bed. And of course you can have a “quickie” once in a while, but most of the time women will need a minimum of 30 minutes of intercourse to have multiple orgasms.

4. TEASING HER UNTIL SHE BEGS FOR IT

From many conversations and interviews with women I know the typical man in bed does almost no teasing. He just plows forwards directly to his goal of intercourse with no finesse, just doing the minimum necessary to get to penetration. 

What women want is for you do build up to a sexual action with teasing until she’s practically begging you for it. THEN give her the gratification. For example, with oral sex most men just dive right in. What would turn her on much more is if you kiss up her inner thighs, and breathe warmly on her vagina. Then, so lightly she can barely feel it, run your tongue over her clitoris. 

Do this until she’s pleading with you to give her more and THEN give her the gratification. She’ll enjoy it about a hundred times more. This leads into the next things women want more of in bed, which is…

5. MORE ORAL SEX

I’m constantly amazed by how many men have told me that they don’t give women oral sex that often, or that they don’t do it at all. The justification which I’ve heard so many times is “it’s OK, I’m good with my fingers.” 

This is like a girl telling you “I don’t give blowjobs … but it’s OK, I’m good with my hands.” It’s just not the same. If you know how to do it right, giving her oral sex is the fastest and easiest way to give her orgasms. Plus, once you make her finish through oral sex she’ll be MUCH more responsive during intercourse … and much more likely to go down on you. Give your girlfriend plenty of oral sex, and she will love you for it.

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